#grumpymum – what’s all that about?

Grumpy-People-from-The-McQuaig-Psychometric-System-from-The-Holst-Group

Ever had the grumpy feeling?

That feeling where all you do is shout, moan or sulk at your kids.

That’s me.

Work is not great and to be honest the long hours and stress are taking their toll on my family life!  I can paint on a smile for most of the time but this last week, bloody hell, has been hell!  And the worse part is is that my kids and the other half are suffering….

Last night my 7 year old daughter told me that ‘the nanny will do it better’ (she might as well have said piss off mum you’re shit we want a new mum) for the impact it had on me.  I was devastated.  Most times my thick skin is like armour but not last night.  I melted.

Failure and guilt – why are those two feelings so often associated with mums?  Although I am a feminist by heart and believe in everything equal I sometimes wonder whether us women have made it harder for ourselves by trying to be everything to everyone!  I mean, cleaning, washing, running a business, paying wages, managing staff’s problems, parenting,  school drops offs, remembering birthdays, meetings, appointments, paying bills, parent’s evenings, packed lunches, shopping for packed lunches, remembering uniforms, helping with homework the list goes on and on… and to be honest I don’t want to write anymore for fear of crying again!

Is it just me or is this some trick roller coaster that I decided to get on and now can’t get off!  Don’t get me wrong there are the random days I think I’m the strongest woman on earth – ‘go on life – throw any shit at me I can cope with it’…but not at the moment!

I know things are bad when I fall asleep on the couch after the kids have eventually gone to sleep and I have been up and down the stairs for the millionth time!  The other half wakes me up and says lets go to bed…and I’m pissed off as its another night I feel I have wasted away, but off I go only to start this roller-coaster of life again the next morning at the crack of dawn…..is it just me?  Am I shit mum? The part that hasn’t featured on my list is actually playing with my kids? is life passing me by and one day I will think ‘Holy crap my kids just remember me for working all the time?’

I need some inspiration, and some space, to find some clarity…

FM x

photo cred www.mcquaig.co.uk 

 

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2 comments

  1. Zoe · October 21, 2015

    Ah from one grumpy mum to another I think you have just beautifully described working mum life! Although it won’t change how you’re feeling please take heart that you are not alone and it’s lovely to read such an honest account of motherhood! For every grumpy mum moment there will be an abundance of awesome mum moments that outweigh them! They’re just a little harder to remember sometimes when the chips are down. The best thing you can do for your children is to take good care of yourself. It sounds as though you give a lot of yourself to others and need to invest in you so you don’t run empty. Even if it’s just 5 minutes in the day you can find to yourself to take a moment to shut off everything else going on around you to be able to breathe that’s an investment in you. Be kind to yourself you’re doing a great job :-))

    Liked by 1 person

  2. fiercemum · October 22, 2015

    Thanks Zoe – it is good to know I am not the only one out there! Me time is definitely on the cards x

    Like

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